19.1

I’ve never played sports a day in my life. I’m uncoordinated with poor spatial reasoning. But I opted to participate in the CrossFit open this year. There’s not so much a why as a “why not?”. My athletic performance was going to be judged as I did an intense workout with dozens of onlookers. I spent all of Friday nervous to the point of being scared. If I hadn’t have already told so many people I was going, I wouldn’t have showed up.

Reluctantly I showed up to Friday Night Lights. When I saw the first group do the workout—19 wall balls followed by a 19 calorie row—I felt even more terrified. The workout was long. Just by watching everyone be so encouraging and feeling the energy in the room my fear melted away. I was ready.

“Do your best.” My old prison mantra popped into my head. As long as you do your best, it’s fine. You can’t do any better than that.

I did the workout. I did my best. I don’t think I could have got any higher of a score, I gave it my all. I almost threw up, my score is fairly low. But I did something I thought I would never do. I did something I thought I could never do.

I’m still un-athletic and uncompetitive. But now I’m stronger, healthier, and more determined. I can go farther than I thought, push myself harder, endure more. For me, CrossFit has turned “I don’t think I can” into “I know I can because I did yesterday, and I can do it again today.”

And I’ll do it all again next Friday for 19.2.

Shout out to CrossFit Blue House for guiding me on my journey off the couch.